April 2020
I don’t have an outline for this month’s update and I didn’t read last month’s own before writing this one so it’s probably going to be a bit of a ramble.
Covid-19 still remains the biggest news topic in the world.
The numbers show that Nigeria is now recording way more new cases daily than it had recorded in the 5 weeks leading up till the end of March. At the end of April, the Nigerian government announced that the total lock down that had been in place throughout April will be relaxed from 4th of May to soften the economic hardship people had been facing from not being able to conduct business.
My view is that the government is honestly between a rock and a hard place. The government’s major failure was not expanding testing once the lock down commenced. While this might have been due to a lack of testing kits, the typical gains we would have experienced in terms of contact tracing and getting a better idea of how many people were truly infected, were lost. By the end of the first two weeks of the lock down, people could hardly see the benefits of the lock down and there was already agitation for easing the thing.
The next couple of weeks will be crucial. People have said the COVID situation in Nigeria will be a case of “your immune system and Insha-Allah”, every man for himself. The Lagos State health ministry is already reportedly mulling the idea of treating patients at home as space is running out at the various isolation centers. The situation is critical. And it might only get worse. I’ll be working from home, at least for the next two weeks, keeping fit and taking daily vitamin C doses in a bid to keep my immune system healthy. No smoking, very little alcohol. Maybe Nigeria is the place where herd immunity will really be tested.
I turned 31 in April. Lool.
My birthday was a decent day. I got loads of calls and messages from family and friends and tried to make the best of the situation with the lock down in place. Only one person sent me a gift though. Last year, I had the wish list thing going on and I kinda felt it kinda compelled people to get me something. I’ve also seen arguments about how having a wish list is kinda tacky so I’m never going that route again. But I really did appreciate my singular gift. Some people did promise to come through post lock down but it’s never going to be the same thing.
Besides the birthday itself though, the days right after got me asking myself a lot of questions and trying to answer them honestly. You see, I had some brownies (maybe too much actually) that had me shaken. They had me shaken cos they had me asking myself deep questions and I was answering those questions awfully honestly. And in those moments, which thankfully, I can’t remember everything that happened in, I was stripped to my core.
While I can’t remember all the questions and answers, I know I dealt with things like religion, disappointments, ambition, attitude, honesty, and how those things have kinda shaped my life.
I wrote an article (which I have since deleted) sharing what I was thinking. In that week, things were bad at work and I had to do some soul searching, trying to answer several questions about why I am the way I am. I def couldn’t answer all, and I admit that I may sometimes be too hard on myself, but I have to find answers.
One thing I’ve recently noticed is that I don’t take negative feedback so well. As inconsequential as it may sound, reading so many Mafian books at my formative years may have been detrimental. Reading and believing and imbibing things like, “everything is personal”, “accidents don’t happen to people who take accidents personal” have made me thing that my decisions, actions, my work, my words, are all me. And if there’s a criticism of the things that I do/have done, that’s a criticism of me, the person. I have started to realize that this may be an incorrect way to go about life. I am after all, only a civilian, not a mafian.
I def have to take responsibility and look for ways to be better tomorrow than I am today, consistently. And I’m also beginning to understand that this is a process. We’re mostly all learning on the job and winging it. While I have to strive for excellence and be accountable, I also have to be reasonable and cut myself some slack sometimes.
One positive I have been able to attribute to the lock down is that this past month, I paid a lot of attention to working out. I just put on YouTube and find some mixed cardio workout videos to keep in shape. I have reduced the number of external runs I do. My stomach feels firmer and I can genuinely see the results from a guided workout rather than all the running I used to do.
My diet has also been decent, little carbs with lots of proteins, mostly fish based. Most of the decisions have been unconscious and unplanned, stuff I stumbled on to but I like it. It’s been a decent time. I now work out on 5 out of 7 days on average, something I could probably never have achieved if not for the lock down. I hope to achieve more and see even better results in May.
I certainly don’t miss going to the office, or even my colleagues, their calls still cause me anxiety, what I miss though is being able to drive at high speed. And attending parties at wedding, or a Friday evening at W bar. And planning/executing trips. And being able to see my best friends. I miss all those things. Hopefully this pandemic ends soon and we can get back to hanging out with our friends and the people who make us happy and feel alive.
Surprisingly, this doesn’t look like a long read, it’s taken me a long ass time to write it.
Movie of the month? — I can’t recall any movie titles right now, but I spent most of my TV time this month watching CBS Justice and Investigation Discovery, basically, crime and investigation stories. I have become hooked.
Song of the month — I’m still listening to the Apple curated “In My Bed” playlist, but not as much as I was listening to it last month. The month’s songs will have to be:
- If The World Was Ending — JP Saxe & Julia Michaels)
- Appointments — Julien Baker
- Strange — Celeste
See you next month.
