August — November 2023
In a way, it feels easier to write after an extended period. A lot has been happened in the last four months and as a finance person, trust me to use the word, volatility in describing how I have felt about writing. In the last few days, I have been able to remind myself that writing is extremely important. The ability to articulate one’s thoughts and sew those trains of thoughts into the story of one’s experience is a skill that will never go extinct — forget chatgpt!
1. In August, I attended a former colleague’s wedding. This meant that I got to see and spend a few hours with some other former colleagues and one of my best friends who now works at the company. May God deliver her. It was nice seeing some of them and just reliving some of our past shared experiences.
I had a conversation with one of the guys who used to be in investment banking and we spoke about how the ability to bind presentations used to be a critical skill that you needed as an analyst in investment banking and asset management back when we were analysts and how the analysts these days probably don’t have a clue about spiral binding documents because most presentations are just done online or projected on a screen. We used to go to the office during weekends for that stuff mehn! It made me appreciate how we just always must keep doing the best we can in the context of the times within which we exist. The only constant thing is change.
2. One of my other friends left for the UK within the last few months. I no longer remember if he left in August or September, but I remember that we had lunch just before he left. I’m now kind of used to my friends leaving. His plan of shuttling between Lagos and London every few months was a bit comforting but just knowing that I had experienced this quite a few times meant I didn’t feel down or perturbed that he was leaving. We have done quite a decent job of staying in touch since he’s left, and I haven’t missed his presence so much — I’ve also been busy on my side.
3. One of my other friends also had a baby. You have to be thankful when you have all the grace required to give your child a second passport besides the Nigerian one & I was grateful for this my friend. We had not been seeing physically since the turn of the year anyway, so it also wasn’t difficult adjusting to her absence. Or maybe again, I have just come to the point of accepting that life is life-ing and people are coming and going as they need to. My friend had a baby girl and I’m so excited for her. Going from daddy’s girl to girl mum in a few months is quite the change for her but I’m confident she will do amazing.
4. Hmm. The first time I travelled out of Nigeria was just here in 2019. I had been working 6 years at that time and I never just thought it was important. The trip was my partner’s idea to celebrate my birthday. The destination was South Africa, and we went with my best friend and his then new girlfriend (who he would go on to marry in 2021). Nothing prepared me for what was the madness that is now required to get a visa to South Africa. And it’s not only the case for Nigerian residents. It seemed to be the case across board. A lot of money, pressure, patience, and frankly grace was required to get the visa. By the time the visa was out, I had missed my flight dates and had to stay on the phone all night with the airline to get another flight within the next 24 hours. We arrived in Jo-burg at after 1am and only settled in at our hotel after 2:30 am. It was a wild experience. I’m not sure I want to visit the country again anytime soon. The trouble just isn’t worth it.
5. I didn’t go to SA just because I felt like it. Our friends were celebrating their love with the last part of their wedding ceremony. Interestingly, they had held the first ceremony in Nigeria in December 2019. As usual, it was an immaculate event. There was a lot to eat and drink and I got to see so many of my old mates from Uni. One thing about our hosts is their attention to detail and how classy they make everything they do. The wedding venue and the party were just that — classy all round. The only let down was the D.J who was intent on killing the vibe. We still enjoyed ourselves as much as we could, smoked our cigars and partied till after midnight. The South Africans in the place couldn’t understand how a wedding was still going on till around 1 a.m.
6. After the wedding, we made sure to do some touristy stuff. I’m quite the homebody but I’m also now warming up to exploring the cities I get to visit. I had spent a few nights in Jo-burg in 2019 but I was ill by the time we got there so I didn’t get to see the city so much. This time, I got to go out quite a few times and visited places like the Apartheid Museum and a game park. I’m no longer under the impressing that Mandela was the saintliest and stately of men, but it was great to see how much the country has documented their history and packaged that into a tourist attraction. Apartheid as a concept was wild but now more and more, we are starting to see how the subsequent governments are destroying social institutions and the management of critical state infrastructure. While we were there, there were consistent reports of robberies, killings, and the bombing of a cash bullion van. All the major hotels and malls now have large solar panels on their roofs as the country is now used to bouts of “load-shedding”. On the positive side, the country still has a thriving private business sector and the physical infrastructure stock means that there’s always a base for development and commerce to continue to thrive.
7. Back in Lagos, I got to do my first speaking engagement at in the tech space at Tech Cabal’s Moonshot event. It was fascinating to see what it’s like doing one of those talks. In the end, it wasn’t a big deal but it’s something I have always wondered about. My partner is a bit popular for her work having spoken at multiple events in and outside Nigeria. She’s received nominations and been on several lists celebrating professionals in their fields and I’ve always wondered how experiencing those things would feel. I also got to meet people in senior roles within the tech ecosystem and it was all fun. Interesting experience all round.
8. After a bit of family drama, I got to celebrate another birthday with my dad. I’m positive that he got to enjoy the birthday celebration in the way it eventually happened. My dad enjoys hymns, and we were able to arrange a hymn singing service for him to celebrate his birthday. We got to speak to him about our past and how much our lives have evolved over the decades. These opportunities and events are dear to me when I consider all the health challenges that he has had to overcome within the last decade. His life is truly a blessing and a testimony. It’s also not a coincidence that we’re quite similar in our value systems. I’m maybe not just as bold and courageous as he is. May God continue to keep him in good health and sound mind.
9. One of the things that constantly gives me joy is seeing my nephew grow. The boy is such a joy and seeing him learn and understand English, Yoruba, and Dutch at the same is so cute. He now has four or five teeth and has started saying no. Watching the videos that his parents post constantly warms my heart. My boy Z!
10. I got amazing news in October. I got admitted into a program I had thrown in an application for. The application has been in the works since 2022 at least and I had been moving at snail speed. Things kind of switched up in August and I somehow found the energy and grace to speed things up. Prepping for the program has been one of the biggest things I’ve focused on over the last few weeks. It’s been an arduous process, but I’ve also consistently received confirmation that this, at this time, is for me.
11. I’ve also done some quick road trips in the last few months as well. The best one was the one I drove. Besides getting stopped a few times by the Nigerian police and the customs service, the drives to and from were fantastic. I also got to spend time with my brother and my dad. Me and my brother got the opportunity to speak frankly about a lot of issues and make up in the areas where we had recently offended each other.
Fun fact: In my head, the song that I relate to my brother the most is P-Square’s Me & My Brother. It’s such a weird choice but the very first time I heard the song; it was like they had written it for me and my guy.
12. For media, I can’t possibly remember all the shows I’ve watched and new music I got to check out in the last few months so I’ll just reel out the ones I can remember. I watched Who Killed Jane Dando, Jeen-yuhs : A Kanye Trilogy (and I proceeded to listed to the man’s discography right after — hate it or love it, Kanye West is a genius), Trial by Media, The Playlist (The Spotify story), Got Gotti, The Great Hack and the Beckham Documentary. The common factor with that list is that they’re all documentaries — with a dash of crime in there.
For music and podcasts, I stuck to the usual suspects — I Said What I Said, Loose Talk and The Elevation Church podcast. One of my friends shared an episode of Trevor Noah’s What Now podcast and it was okay. I also read Olumide Soyombo’s auto-biography, Vantage. I would look to read more books as the year wraps up.
13. While getting ready for the next phase, it’s been tough to stay calm and not get anxious but I’m also constantly telling myself to enjoy the moment. Worrying and being anxious has never really solved anything and that isn’t going to change. All I can do is prepare and plan and work towards making tomorrow easier, from today. But I must also be thankful and enjoy today.
